


The Arms of August

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, War is bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 04:32:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15549687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: "Some damn foolish thing near Mount Ebott will ignite the next crisis."-Wingdings von Gaster





	The Arms of August

The building was stifling to everyone in it. No corner or cellar offered relief from the heat, only a few could maintain literal cool heads due to their mastery of ice magic. But absolute zero could not have offered relief to those in the office on the top floor, because the weather was only a fraction of what weighed on them.

"Ambassador, we asked for more time, won't he reconsider...?"

The sweat on the ambassador's forehead would have happened regardless of the temperature. "I sent your appeal to him, he won't listen. He's got something to prove."

"To who?" lamented Asgore. "Surely he doesn't think desiring peace is weakness?"

The ambassador took a sip of her tea, unable to return his look. "However he dresses it up, that's exactly what he thinks. He's scared about what's coming, you'd have to be insane not to be, but all his brag has led to this, and he's more scared of backing down."

A deep sorrow settled into his inhuman face, looking unnervingly comfortable. "I... I thought we had come so far. It's been fraught in places, that was unavoidable, but.. to be on the brink..."

"I know. Your usual ambassador's been amazing. I think he's been biding his time, waiting until they were out of the way. He just won't listen to me right now."

"Of all the times for Frisk to have their appendix removed. Well, at least they won't have to witness their hard work unravelled by a web of bellicose rhetoric."

A small hand rested on top of his. "They won't have to see it at all. I think we can stop this Stay-"

"Determined, I know."

The chuckling didn't last very long, as both king and ambassador retreated into their thoughts. Running out of options while they waited on a reply, Asgore opted to skim through the readiness reports he had hoped he'd never have to touch. The desperation for diplomacy to prevail was understandable. If it came to the worst, he had a hard time seeing how they could prevail. He wanted to call the hospital, to advise Toriel to keep Frisk safe for as long as possible, but even if she hadn't already known the situation was deteriorating, all his call would have done was panic her. He trusted she'd know what to do to keep the children safe. And in the meantime, his appeal for peace would continue.

"What about mediation? We take the dispute to a conference and they can decide-"

"He feels he got short changed by the last one, that any future ones would just be to shut him up, and he's sick of it."

"And how do you feel about it?"

She didn't miss the slightest tone of accusation. "It doesn't matter what I think. The circles he runs around with are what matters. Even if I persuade him all it takes is a couple of them to rile him up. They want this so bad, and they don't even realise the costs. They're not the ones who will have to pay."

"It never is. I just wish we could have been friends-"

An inappropriately cheerful tune cut across Asgore's despair, and the Ambassador took out her phone. Asgore watched her make the occasional grunt of acknowledgement, growing ever more pale as the call continued, before concluding with a quiet "Thank you".

"...is that it?" he asked. "Did he declare?"

"Not yet. But he's heading to the park. So..."

"So it's only a matter of time..." A sombre buzz came from Asgore's phone, and though he'd been anticipating its contents, the reality of it still hit him like a punch to the gut. "Monsters are assembling. They don't want this, but won't duck out."

"I understand..." They looked at each other properly, both now uncertain about where they stood. "Are we no longer friends, Asgore?"

"Never." A twinkle in his eyes looked like it would defy what was otherwise inevitable. "We shall always be friends."

The affirmation put her at ease. "Then we'll go down there together. Even if we can't change his mind, we'll send a message. If one person listens, maybe it's worth it."

"Thank you..."

* * *

"Come on, don't be such a buzzkill!"

"Please don't use the k-k-k-word, Unnie."

"Okay, sorry."

Elbow grease and actual grease joined forces as Undyne poured her heart into making her armour look presentable. As the crisis had escalated, her interest in appearances had been inversely proportional with Alphys' who looked more and more dishevelled with each development their phones relayed to them.

"I'm just saying," said Undyne, "that sometimes it can't be avoided. Can't hide from it if it happens."

"I know," said Alphys, strategically covering up a spill of soda on her unwashed lab coat, "but I d-d-don't like how some monsters are gunning for it to happen."

"Hey, it ain't like we'll have started it. But dammit we'll finish it! It'll be quick and easy, and we'll come off the better for it!"

This did little to boost Alphys' spirits. "You're not l-looking at the facts. We'll get creamed if it comes to that! They're just far more equipped for wh-what's about to happen."

"Maybe." Undyne flashed her razor-sharp grin. "But when did I ever let that stop me?"

"Easy for you to say," wailed Alphys, "when it's others that are in danger. You can't be everywhere at once!"

"Says who?"

"S-s-says physics!"

"Causality's overrated anyway!"

"Th-that doesn't make any sense!"

"It doesn't have to!"

" **PLEASE!** "

The despair froze the boiling blood in Undyne's veins as Alphys crumpled to the ground, incomprehensible through her sobs. Her acts reached Undyne far more reliably than her words, and today was no exception as she curled into a ball, tail wrapped around her to keep out the world. Undyne knew she'd pushed too far.

"...Alph?"

It was a positive sign she just continued to sob, so Undyne edged forward, having a little trouble identifying a shoulder to rest her hand one, but mercifully it had the desired effect as the sobs grew sparser.

"...it... no sense... none of this... makes..."

"I know, babe." The admission coaxed wet looking spectacles from the tangle of lizard and lab coat. "I know the situation sucks. I'm not even gonna pretend Asgore can put a stop to it, there are too many idiots clambering for it, even for him."

"B-b-but then... why join them? You've been as riled up as some of the h-humans."

Ugh, hard questions. Oh well, best to try and answer it. "It's like... some things are out of the hands of anyone, human or monster. Like those gamboni rayguns you told me about."

"A g-gamma ray burst."

"Yeah them. One of them hits the planet, and we'd have been better off in the Underground. But there's not a damn thing we could do about that. Part of me does wanna join you on the floor there, but that's just admitting we can't do anything. And where's the fun in that?"

Alphys uncurled a little. "B-but if it's inevitable-"

"Then hopefully we spit in its eye before we lose! Doing the impossible works out sometimes."

"...not very often."

"A damn sight more than the foetal position does."

The first smile Undyne had seen all day appeared. "Fair p-point."

"If the world is crashing around us, I ain't letting it wash over me. I'll thrash and thrash and thrash until the whole world becomes butter. And then we're having toast!"

Alphys gripped Undyne's vest, threatening to tear it with her claws. "Th-thanks. I do get why you're being so, w-well, you. But could you dial back the b-bloodlust a little?"

"Sure. What will be will be, but not without a fight!"

Both of their phones buzzed harshly. Undyne dashed away and seized both of them, and as she read her own, the reaction told Alphys there was no need to read her own. All the bravado was wiped away from Undyne's expression, and her firey hair sagged a little.

"The park... looks like this is it. You wanna stay here, in case things go south?"

Alphys' expression looked like it wanted to say yes, but instead she removed her spectacles, and polished them with zeal.

"You n-need help with your armour? Might as well look the part."

"Thank you..."

* * *

A chalky white brow was furrowed as the current situation was relayed to its owner from the television. This furrowed state was impressive given how inflexible calcium normally was.

"I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, SANS."

"don't reckon it's the kinda thing you understand, bro."

"I'M SERIOUS," said Papyrus, "WHY HAVE REPORTS OF ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS RISEN?"

Sans scratched his coccyx. "reckon that'd be all the tough talk from shorty."

"WELL YES, HE'S BEEN RATHER RUDE, BUT WHY WOULD THE SITUATION DETERIORATE JUST BECAUSE OF THAT?"

"welp, the monster response wasn't exactly polite."

"AND THE KING REBUKED THAT STATEMENT, AS WELL HE SHOULD. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THINGS HAVE TO GET WORSE."

"oh? what makes ya say that?"

Papyrus got to his feet. "BECAUSE, IF THINGS GOT WORSE, THE CONSEQUENCES WOULD BE SUPREMELY HARMFUL TO BOTH HUMANS AND MONSTERS. WITH SUCH AWARENESS OF CONSEQUENCES, EVERYONE WILL TAKE CARE NOT TO ESCALATE ANY FURTHER THAN THEY HAVE, AND THUS THE CHANCES OF NEGATIVE OUTCOMES ARE REMOTE!"

The squat skeleton sipped on his refrigerated ketchup. Sans' cheeky and upbeat grin reflected the profound sorrow he felt for his brother's naiveté. "'kay. coupla things, pap. numero uno, how do you know they aint such _numbskulls_ -" he allowed Papyrus a wince, "-that they don't know what their acts could do?"

"I DOUBT THAT SITUATION COULD ARISE SANS, IT IS SELF EVIDENT IF YOU LOOK-"

"have they? looked, I mean."

"WHY WOULDN'T THEY?"

Sans shrugged. "some folk don't like lookin' at bad times. so they try not to think about it. an' as a result they don't think about how bad things could get."

"WELL THAT'S... STUPID! YOU CAN'T TELL ME EVERYONE THINKS LIKE THAT."

"not everyone," Sans conceded, "but those that do got the _backbone_ to look, they still don't grapple with it right. they think it can't possibly happen."

"BUT THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. IT CAN'T POSSIBLY HAPPEN-"

"because of how crappy it would be? problem is, the odds of something happening ain't correlated with how crappy it is. probably a lot more likely than you think it is. an' nobody likes plannin' for the harder alternative, so they convince themselves it ain't that bad."

A red mitten scratched Papryus' mandible. "A GOOD POINT, SANS. I ADMIT I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT. BUT THE KING CLEARLY HASN'T BEEN THINKING LIKE THAT. EVERY PUBLIC STATEMENT HAS BEEN TO URGE CALM AND DE-ESCALATION."

"true. but he's probably the only one with his head screwed on straight. asgore aside, there's three kinds of folk in leadership right now. there's the folk who haven't thought about the consequences at all. there's the folk who haven't thought about ‘em nearly enough. and… there's the folk who thought about ‘em, and don't care."

"DON'T CARE? WHY?"

"hell if I know. my gut wants to say it's mainly because they think even if the bad outcome happens, they'll be fine. they got enough money or whatever to ride it out. or they're in the perfect spot to benefit from it."

"BUT... BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE THEY LEAD?"

"...dime a dozen."

Papyrus' brow was no longer furrowed. "THAT'S... THAT'S..."

" _boneheaded_?"

"PRECISELY! YOU CAN'T BE RIGHT ABOUT THAT, SANS, THERE CAN'T BE THAT MANY DUNDERHEADS IN LEADERSHIP. LIKE YOU SAID, ASGORE SEES THE DANGER, I'M CERTAIN HE'LL BE ABLE TO CALM EVERYONE DOWN."

Sans' cheeky and upbeat grin reflected the profound affection he felt for his brother's naiveté "sure, bro. but, uh, what if it does kick off?"

"WELL, I'LL JUST HAVE TO PROTECT MY FRIENDS."

"good priorities, papyrus. that's really cool."

He took a moment to bask in the complement, before a stray thought occurred to him. "I HAVE A QUESTION, SANS. IF YOU ARE CERTAIN THIS WILL ALL END IN TEARS, HOW CAN YOU TAKE IT SO CALMLY? ARE YOU NOT SCARED?"

"...doesn't matter. gotta take the good while you can. heck, never thought i'd enjoy the surface for this long. if it comes, it comes. not much i can do about it."

"WHY WOULD YOU ANTICIPATE ALL THIS COMING TO AN END?" Sans didn't answer. "WELL DON'T FRET. IT WILL WORK OUT, AND WE SHALL BE HOME BEFORE THE LEAVES FALL."

"they don't fall for two months."

"EXACTLY!"

"heh. good one."

Their phones buzzed. Papyrus finished reading the message before Sans bother to take out his phone. "THERE'S AN ASSEMBLAGE OF HUMANS AND MONSTERS IN THE PARK! PERHAPS THEY WILL ANNOUNCE A SETTLEMENT. I'M GOING DOWN TO SEE. YOU WANT TO COME?"

"eh, might as well. gotta be _hip_ to what's happenin' round here."

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT, SANS. THANK YOU!"

Sans' fixed grin told volumes as his brother turned to the coat rack to grap his cape. A blue twinkle flashed in his eye socket.

* * *

Although the sun had passed its peak for the day, the heat remained ever oppressive. But much like at the embassy, it was the last thing on the crowds' mind. And "crowds" was the correct word, the two groups keeping very firmly apart as they slowly grew over the past few hours. The tension was inescapable as they eyed each other. One phalanx of eyeballs looked at their opposite numbers from roughly the same height give or take a few stragglers. The other had a much wider range of angles to look across the divide from, and some accomplished this without any eyeballs at all. If any hope remained that the inevitable would not occur, they kept it to themselves. Except for Papyrus.

"OH HELLO, MRS HEINRICH," he called across to a woman in the front lines, "HOW'S THE KNITTING COMING ALONG?" She didn't answer.

Undyne stood in front of the monsters, her polished armour actually reflecting some of the heat and making it tolerable.No monster would break ranks unless she allowed it. And in turn she could intercept any sudden movements made from the humans. But she would not order any movement. This wasn't her show. A glance at Alphys reassured her this was the right move.

There was some shuffling in the human crowd. And there he was. The one calling for all this. The look on his face told Undyne that nothing had changed. With a slight droop of her stomach, she felt swept up in destiny. So she stood aside, and the human's opposite number among monsters strutted forward without fear. They eyed each other for a long time, as if afraid to be the one to push the domino.

"Please, stop!"

Every head, or rough approximation of one, turned at the deep commanding voice. Asgore and the Ambassador had just arrived, and they had resolved to turn the tide or drown in the attempt.

"You don't have to do this!" cried the Ambassador to the human standing in No Man's Land. "There has to be a different way to settle it!"

Her words actually moved him a little. Doubt appeared on his face, maybe even a little fear. The enormity of what he'd set in motion settled on his smooth face. He looked at the Ambassador, then the pleading of Asgore, the caution of Undyne, the terror of Alphys, the smile of Papyrus and the rather different smile of Sans. He was wavering... 

But then he looked back at his inner circle. They had no doubts, and their eagerness kicked out his doubt. Returning to the monster envoy, his face was set. Determined. He raised his hand. Everyone in the park inhaled, the fear and despair kept in check only by their own determination. And then he said it.

"One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!"

It had happened. It could never be taken back. Everyone now looked at the monster envoy.

"Dude, I told you," said Monsterkid, "I don't have any arms."

"Ha!" yelled the small boy. "I win by default! In your face!"

His friends gathered round him, cheering his great victory. The monsters emitted a collective groan at their instant defeat, punctuated by a growl or screech or blorp. The humans devolved into chatter and chuckling at the spectacle.

"Alright, Frank," said the Ambassador to the human envoy, "playtime's over. We're getting you fitted for your school uniform tomorrow."

"Okay, Mom!"

He disentangled himself from his friends to rejoin his mother. She gave Asgore a regretful tip of the head for all the trouble, then escorted Frank to a waiting car. The crowds became a single crowd and began to disperse, humanity's cheerfulness helping to dilute monsterkind's disappointment. It was left to Monsterkid to expel the collective bitterness with a parthian shot.

"Five, six, seven, eight, you use those hands to-"

A bony hand pinched the potty mouth shut. "language, buddy."

* * *

Given how rare it was for monsters to come face to face with their own internal anatomy, seeing a human's was slightly sickening to Asgore. But the one-time owner of this appendix was not the one thrusting it in his face.

"Check it out, Dad, it's so weird!"

Obliging his son for the fifth time - a phase of admiring the grotesque seemed to be Asriel's current coping strategy - Asgore surveyed the ineffable organ for a few additional seconds before finally moving the jar aside to speak to the one who had produced it.

"Are you feeling better, Frisk?"

They nodded. "Still a little sore, but the doctor says that's normal. In a few weeks it'll be like it never happened."

"And I am glad, my child," said Toriel, "you shalln't lose any school time due to this."

"That's right," said Asriel, a little disappointed for them, "you missed out on a golden opportunity, Frisk!"

Frisk shrugged. "There's always my tonsils."

"Your what-sils?"

"Well," they began unabashed, "there are two glands in my throat and they can-"

"Another time, Frisk," begged Asgore, having had his fill, "is there anything you need?"

"No, but thanks Dad," they said. "Sounds like you were busy enough with Frank and Monsterkid. Wish I'd been able to help."

"Oh, that," he waved away the idea it had been difficult or serious, "I've handled worse."

"The way Mom talked about it," said Asriel, "it was like the war was gonna begin again. What happened?"

"Erm," Asgore tapped a horn in thought, "I'm not sure what the initial incident was. I think something happened to Frank's friend Freddie, something about a sandwich or getting lost down a street, but whatever it was it sure snowballed. Golly, you never know what gets people at each other's throats."

"I do wish he had resorted to a dialogue," said Toriel, "harsh words without cause are counterproductive in the end."

"Well they're children, Toriel."

"On this occasion Asgore, yes. But age is no barrier to brashness. You recall what Gerson said to that human trying to sell him a forged antique." Everyone winced a little at the memories. "We must always strive to have cool heads in such situations, lest our anger does something our sorrow will regret."

The family let these words sink in for a moment before Toriel proceeded to prepare dinner for them. None of them were aware of the next crisis brewing, where at the nearby beach a human and a monster were building sandcastles, and were about to engage in a heated argument over a bucket.

**Author's Note:**

> Thumb wars are serious business. [As are buckets.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Bucket)
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
